If there is one thing I have learned over this past year, it is that there is JOY everywhere, and in everything.

Sometimes that JOY is not as obvious.

My sweet Grandpa passed away tonight. He was diagnosed with Lewy Body Disease 2 years ago. He had a hard battle, but was able to slip quietly from this life to the next with his loving wife, 5 out of his 6 daughters, their husbands, my older sister and myself at the side of his bed.

As I saw him take his last breath I was not prepared for the emotions that came.

Death is a part of life. A loving Father in Heaven has prepared a perfect plan for us. Just as bringing a new life into this world is a part of this plan, so is dying.

I do not understand it all, and won't even begin to try. But what I do know is that I will see him again. I know that he is no longer in pain. I know he is rejoicing with his loved ones.

Amidst my deep sadness tonight I am fighting to see where JOY plays into this part of life.

The Golden Ticket

*This entry was inspired by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf's most recent talk from the General Relief Society Meeting. If you haven't seen it yet, well, what are you waiting for?

Remember in the book/movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when Willey Wonka announces that he has enclosed in 5 choice bars of chocolate a golden ticket?  The finders of these golden tickets will get to come to Willey's exclusive factory for a tour and also win a life time supply of chocolate.

We all know what happens. The whole world begins to search for the golden tickets. Every one is in pursuit of these tickets. But along the way, in anticipation for the golden ticket, the JOY and pleasure that once was found in a chocolate bar begins to loose it's appeal. The chocolate bar may have even been tossed to the side, uneaten, if it did not contain the coveted golden ticket.

How many of us are waiting for our golden ticket? The perfect marriage, a home that is clean and stays clean, a life free of stress or worry, enough money...the list goes on and on. We can become so narrow minded and obsessed with these golden tickets that our chocolate bars are literally going to waste. 

I ate a piece of fudge before writing this (curse you James for making such succulent fudge!!!) The chocolate melted as soon as it touched my tongue. Chocolate is so warm and friendly because it does this...it melts and spreads to every taste bud, every crevasse of your mouth. It slides down your throat and lands softly in your stomach. It pats you on the back on it's way down and wraps you in comfort. (You are going to the pantry right now for some chocolate, aren't you?)

Okay people!!! What are you waiting for? Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the last golden ticket was just found! You ain't getting one!

ENJOY the chocolate and STOP WAITING FOR YOUR GOLDEN TICKET!!!!

Let the JOY that is all around you seep into every crevasse. Open your heart and mind to the JOY that can penetrate every cell in your body. JOY does not force itself in, but when you create space and opportunity, it melts into every part of you.

Imagine standing before your creator on judgment day and saying, "I just couldn't enjoy the sunset tonight because my favorite show was on and I just couldn't miss it! And I couldn't enjoy my kids today because they were driving me CRAZY and I was waiting for them to sit still and stop fighting. And my husband, well, when he can finally read my mind and for once know what I want and do exactly what I need him to do, then I can enjoy and serve him. Sorry, I just couldn't savor the smell of those autumn leaves cause my laundry was piling up. And forget about after dinner when my daughter was pulling on my pant leg to read her a story! I couldn't sit down and read to her because the dishes were piling up. So sorry...I will do those things tomorrow when life is calmer."

In pursuit of our golden ticket, are we forgetting to be happy NOW? We must be constantly and prayerfully striving for something better, but we can not forget to find JOY in the journey...or chocolate bar.

So let's start enjoying those chocolate bars again, in all their flavors.

Please share with me your golden tickets, and how you are going to savor your chocolate bars more!!! I LOVE feedback.

Taking the bad with the GOOD

A JOYful life is not void of negative emotions.

Feelings of regret, anger, sadness, guilt or loneliness will always be felt. A JOYful life is had by being able to feel these emotions, and not stuff them down. Being able to take ownership for why you feel this way, FEEL it, then do with it what needs to be done so that you can move forward with JOY.

I may have said this before, but our emotions are our God-given signal that we need to pay attention to what is happening around us. Take for instance regret. Regret is when we felt a prompting to do something and we chose not to. It is an automatic response to help us learn, so that the next time we are prompted, we will listen. Regret is not meant to paralyze us or make us feel bad about ourselves.

Is it possible to take what we have labeled as "negative" emotions and think of them as positive ones??

I have learned that when I respond appropriately to an emotion, even it doesn't feel good at the time, I see my life shift tremendously. I find myself achieving goals and becoming closer to the person that I want to be.

I will take those uncomfortable feelings ANY DAY, because it means that I am alive! It means that I get to make changes and be a better person! I now know that JOY is everywhere and in everything.

Just like a seemingly "negative" emotions drives us forward to change, JOY drives us to soak in the good, be better and appreciate life in all it's glory.

A Gentle, Lovely Reminder

You MUST go and hear this couples story. Stephanie and Christian Nielson, parents of 4, were in a near fatal airplane accident in 2008. Stephanie was burned on over 80% of her body, and Christian, over 40%. Their spirit and story is inspiring and is a gentle, lovely reminder of what is important in this life.

Watch this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHDvxPjsm8E&feature=player_embedded

Then Visit this blog

http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/

A String Around My Finger

We have been told that we should follow our head and leave our feelings out of decision making because feelings are misleading.

I beg to differ. Our feelings or emotions are our God-given, built in devise to keep us on track. Emotions keep us in tune with how we are living and in what direction we are going.

Now, if we get really angry and say or do things in that anger, that is different. I am talking about how we feel on a day-to-day basis, when we are washing the dishes, surfing the Internet, or interacting with our family.

Remember that cute little cricket, Jimminy, from Pinocchio?? "Always let your conscious be your guide!" We all have him in our pocket or on our shoulder with his cute little top hat and cane.

This is my new challenge to you, I am trying this myself and I have noticed that it is working:

Tie a string around your finger (other alternatives are a rubber band around your wrist or some other type of bracelet or ring). Every time you see this string, "check-in" to how you are feeling.

Ask your self, "How am I feeling? What am I thinking about? What am I thinking to myself, about myself, or about others? How am I speaking to others? Where are my thoughts?"

The next part is simple, IF your emotions are positive, SMILE and keep going. If they are negative, think of a phrase you can say to "flip it". For example: If I checked in and I was feeling anxious about something (which happens a lot for me) I would say out loud, with that anxiety in mind, "But what if that doesn't happen, then what?" Immediately my mind leaves that negative thought and I am thinking of the positive or the good things that will happen instead.

If I found I was thinking something negative about someone, I would say, "But this person is so great because_______."

It works. It's easy. You will be amazed at what goes on inside of your head! I know I was. I did not even realize how damaging some of my thoughts, and in consequence my emotions were and how they were leading me down paths I wasn't even aware of.

By becoming more aware of your emotions and where they are leading you, you can take control and shape your future in an amazing way.

Good Luck!!

It's been a while. I have taken several mental vacations since my last post. Busy being a Mom of 5 and a wife.

In between those mental vacations I have done a lot of learning and growing too. I feel like life just gets better and better each day. I won't lie...I have my hard days, WHO DOESN'T??? But I am amazed at how much hope and JOY I feel on a daily basis. And here is the cool thing...the only thing that has changed is ME. The way I think, the things I think, the way I react and the way I perceive the things around me.

I would see this quote on the back of a car at my kids school all the time and it always made me smile. It said, "Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change."

I want to share with you 4 EASY steps to changing ANYTHING in your life. Now keep in mind as you are implementing these steps into your lives...they are EASY, but not familiar. You may struggle a bit because most of us do not know that WE have the control. It may be new to us to accept that life is not happening TO us, it is happening BECAUSE of us.

I believe that Carol Tuttle explained it best when she related change to coming out of a dark closet. We've been walking around in that dark closet, banging into walls and trying to feel our way around. When a door opens for us, or when we are presented with a better way to live, we walk out of that closet and shut the door behind us. But pretty soon we are back to that door, now locked, banging our head against it, screaming "Let me in!" Even though it was dark and bleak, it was familiar. If we persist and believe that we can change and continue to practice our new-found way of living, we may go back to that door and knock a few times, but we will eventually say goodbye to that door forever.

Here are the 4 EASY Steps: (get a pen and paper ready, you will want to write these down! Not only is this process EASY but it is FUN!!)

#1 -Identify what you WANT in life. This may be easier done by listing first the things you DON'T want. Once you have your list (it can be as long or as short as you want) of DON'T wants, you can easily change them into your DO WANTS. For example "I do not want debt" changes into "I want to be free of owing anyone money".

It is SO important to get your list of WANTS, because, as we know, when we focus on what we don't want, we get a whole lot of what we don't want, and vis-a-versa. Easy attracts easy, hard attracts hard. (see more on the Law of Attraction here)

#2-(this is the FUN part) Now, choose ONE thing on your list. You will know which one. It will be the one that stands out the most and the issue that keeps coming up for you. Once you have chosen, close your eyes and image what it would be like if that one things was already in your life. Imagine what it feels like. What do you hear? What are people around you seeing and saying about your success? How do you feel? Really get to a place where you truly believe it has happened.

#3-Now go throughout your day and act accordingly. Act as if this issue has already been cleared or come to fruition. When self-doubt or self-sabotaging thoughts creep in, and they will, close your eyes and go to that place again.

A dear friend of mine was trying to loose weight and she tapped her goal weight right over the face on her scale, so when she stepped onto her scale she saw that she weighed exactly what she wanted to weigh. Sound silly? It may be, but our subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between real thoughts and imaginary ones. Our subconscious also HAS to be right, so if we are telling our mind that it is fit and trim and weighs 130 pounds, you better believe that our minds will deliver.

#4-That leads us into our last step, and this one may sometimes be the hardest. It is Inspired Action. We had already identified what we WANT, imagined being there, and stayed in a place where we could continue to believe it until we see it. Now we get to act on inspiration that comes to us.

You can't get anywhere, except to the next episode of Survivor by sitting on the couch. It just ain't gonna happen. If I set a goal to run a marathon (which I would never do by the way...=)...) I won't be ready on race day unless I have trained and ran mile after mile. Is training always going to be FUN and EASY? Nope. But it will be worth the effort.

We all have inside of us a God-given tool to see good and see what is right. We also have the ability to go after it.

If I want to loose weight, I need to take the Inspired Action to loose. I need to get up instead of sleep in. I need to listen when my sisters or friends are taking about a healthy recipe then ask for it. I need to research on the Internet some good muscle building exercises. I need to say YES when a friend asks me to get up early with her and go to the track. I need to act.

I can tell you that these steps work. They are working for me. I know that they can work for you.

Like I said at the beginning, nothing about my life has changed except ME. I have closed that door on a dark, depressing, sad closet and stepped into the light. The view from my new closet is amazing. I see hope and color again. I see life and love and JOY!!

PLEASE SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH ME! I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SUCCESSES!!

JOY IS...

We all experience JOY in different ways. What is JOYful to one may not hold the same value to another. Here is what JOY means to me:

JOY is...

a nap, opening all of my windows on warm spring day, watching my kids sleep, my kids at play, relaxing after a day of play or work, a nap (did I mention this already??) feeling accomplished, my husbands goofy way of making me laugh, a friends encouraging words, a good hair day, family parties, holidays, a meal that didn't burn or wasn't missing an ingredient, sharing something you have learned with someone else, garage sales, a child's arm around my neck, a toothless grin, asking my kids what they learned in school, a good parent-teacher conference, driving by myself, books on tape, ice cold water, a nice aroma in my house, hot cocoa and a fuzzy blanket, being a wife, being a mother, being a daughter and an aunt, and a friend...

Here are a couple of the things I have come to take JOY in since I have taken my head out of my

sandy, ostrich hole and remembered what life is really suppose to be like...

The sunset. A rolly polly bug squirming in my child's hand. My kids laughter. My husbands blue eyes. Anticipation for the next great thing. Hope. The silence in the morning before everyone wakes up. The sun coming up and bringing with it a new day of endless possibilities.

WHAT DO YOU FIND JOY IN??? Please leave a comment!! We need to learn from each other! I want to know what fills you with JOY!

Wholeness

"And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment:

"For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole.

"But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour." -Matthew 9:20-22

The woman in this passage was made whole by her faith. What is faith? Faith is believing in things that we can not see. If we believe in JOY, believe that God loves us and wants us to be happy than those things that can help us be happy and bring us JOY will come into our lives effortlessly.

Believe in JOY! Believe that you can be whole! "Be of good comfort!" I can not think of many things more comforting than that.

It Is What It Is

A pay check comes in the mail for $5000 dollars. To a man who usually receives a check for $1500 dollars, this is a lot of money. He is going to experience feelings of happiness, and excitement. If this $5000 check came to a man who usually receives a check for $20,000, he would experience some feelings of panic and anger.

This scenario is a good example of the law of relativity. The law that an object, like a paycheck holds no good or bad value, it is the good or bad emotion that we attach to that object that creates how we feel about it? Confused?

Here's another example you might relate to more. The person in this story will remain nameless (and he may or may not be my husband...I love you honey!! Note: I got this nameless person's permission to share this story =) A man was driving down the road. The driver of the white pick-up truck ahead of him was driving a good 10 miles an hour under the speed limit. This evoked feelings are impatience, anger and annoyance. Which lead to tail-gating, frustrated phrases and gestures.

Now, let's think...NOTHING that this man could have done could change how fast or slow the driver was going. The POWER to do so was completely outside of himself. The fact that the driver was going so slow was just like the $5000 pay check, it was what it was.

When we become aware that this law is at work in our lives, it allows us to see things differently. We come to see clearly that the power to alter the things that "just are" (like the slow driver or the pay check) are completely outside of ourselves. We come to understand how futile it is to waste time and energy on things that are outside of our control. We in turn see the great value and benefit of the power inside of ourselves. The power to ACT, not REACT.

Instead of getting angry and acting as if the slow driver was deliberately driving slow just to annoy the man, he could have turned and taken a different route, or turned up the radio a little louder and sang along to the song. Or turn off the radio all together and engage in a conversation with his passengers.

What does this have to do with JOY? What happens to us internally when we understand that we can CHOOSE JOY and that we don't have to wait around for JOY to find us? How would your life be different if you knew that you didn't have to wait for your life to be going perfect, or even GOOD until you could be happy and have JOY? When we understand the Law of Relativity, we understand that things ARE WHAT THEY ARE and we can choose to react negatively or positively.

Half the battle to just knowing this. You mean I have a choice? I can choose to not blow up when my daughter writes all over the wall with permanent marker? I can choose how I feel when I get a bad grade or bad review at work? I can choose how I feel when a car pulls out in front of me? When we understand that we are not VICTIMS of life, but CREATORS of life there are limitless possibilities for JOY to flow. It makes me happy just knowing that. I get to choose! I can create my life simply by understanding that I have say, that God loves me and wants me to be happy.

This Weeks Challenge: The next time you are stuck behind a slow driver, take a deep breath, and come up with the BEST story you can for why that person is going slow. My most recent story was that the van that was going slow in front of me had a 7 layer wedding cake with porcelain roses on it. It was the woman's first wedding cake and she was really anxious about it arriving in tact. I promise you that it will be hard to feel frustrated after you have given your slow driver a good reason for their turtle-like driving and it will distract you so much, it won't even bother you that you are driving slower than normal.

Helping Our Kids Remember JOY

I use to live with a lot of fear. I lived each day, each moment, anticipating something bad happening. I experienced a lot of anxiety and sadness.

I look back on those years of my life and think, "What was I teaching my kids?" I rarely vocalized my fears but it was blatantly obvious by the things I did and the unhappy state I was in.

I loved this quote by Carol Tuttle and thought it was note-worthy, she says, "As a parent, I can believe that the world is not a safe place for my children and pass this fear onto them, or I can empower them by making them aware of contrast, that good and evil exist in this mortal dimension, and teach them about the Law of Attraction- which is that they can choose whatever they want to experience. We do our children a great service by creating a space for them to know who they are, to love and honor them, to treat them with respect, to teach them correct principles, and to let them govern themselves, and learn from the contrast of life."

Isn't that amazing! Just think, by changing our lives and remembering JOY, we are teaching our kids that JOY is a part of life. That the their world is going to support them in being JOYful.

JOY is a vibration. It is a high frequency. When we teach our kids to stand a little taller, be a little better and plug into that frequency, we empower them to live happy, JOY filled lives. Can you think of a greater gift than that?

This weeks Challenge: Introduce your kids to the language of JOY. You might even want to sit down with them and explain in whatever terms they will understand that JOY is just like that speck of dust that we can only see when the sunlight is shining on it. Ask them if you can help each other be happy and remember the JOY that you have access to. If you don't have children, do this with a spouse or other family member.

Purple Elephant

Isn't it amazing how well we have convinced ourselves that life has to HARD??

I believe that we chose to come to this earth, knowing full and well that we would be tested and tried. We agreed to live through uncomfortable circumstances so that we could grow, learn and become as close to our Heavenly Father as we could.

Do you believe that a loving Heavenly Father has put us here on earth, under those circumstances and not provided a way for us to be happy and find JOY? There are many who do believe that. You hear ALL THE TIME, "My life is just hard", "I was meant to have lots of trials", "A hard life is just my lot in life" or "Good things never happen to me"

Think about the above statements? Have you ever said any of them before? I know that I sure have.

Have you ever heard of the law of intention, or the law of attraction? That which we set our intention on will expand for us. For instance, picture in your minds eye a purple elephant with shiny red toenail polish. Get a really good picture of it in your head. Now, count to three and do your very best to NOT think about that pink elephant.

It is almost impossible to not think about that elephant because you put it in the front of your mind. If I were to say, "My kids drive me crazy!!" Then I make that statement true, simply by saying it, and my kids will deliver on that 100% of the time.

Most of the worlds population doesn't know about or understand the law of intention. It is still there- whether we know about it or choose to believe in it. It is just like the law of gravity. You don't have to fully understand or even know about that law to have it work for you.

It is simple. What we say, think and set our intentions on will be manifest in our lives.

In life, we will encounter trials, heart ache, health problems, sadness, loneliness and tragedy. These are a part of life. But these trials were not intended to rob us of our JOY. They were intended to humble us and remind us that JOY is all around us.

This weeks Challenge-Notice were JOY is trying to creep in. JOY is always knocking. If we are declaring statements like the ones above, then we will attract those things into our life. Pay close attention to where JOY is trying to present itself in your life. Keep a journal. Pray for enlightenment. Catch yourself in your language and thoughts.

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS WITH YOUR FEED BACK! I NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU! THANKS =)

Has a week past already?? Wow. My baby has been sick this week and I feel like a zombie...walking around with no sleep is not an easy task.

Baily (5) said to her dad the other morning when he was trying to wake her up for school, "I would rather eat DIRT than get up right now! That is how bad I don't want to get up!" I totally agree with her and I would rather eat dirt right now than have another sleepless night with a coughing, fevering baby! He is much better today, so I may get a good night sleep yet.

It is amazing to me how different my life has been by making these seemingly small changes in my thinking and language. Just like the scripture that says, "By small and simple things are GREAT things come to pass." Don't ever underestimate the power that small changes in your thought patterns or language have on you and those around you.

I want to share one thing that has completely shifted for me since I have started this JOY JOURNEY. It is about money. You may wonder how money relates to JOY. Well, if you have ever struggled financially, you know that MONEY can sometimes be DIRECTLY related to JOY.

It was pay day on Monday. I was really looking forward to going grocery shopping and having some money to get somethings we really needed. I walked into the living room that morning where James was sitting with the lap top. I could FEEL the negative energy in the room. The look on his face didn't help either! Something had happened with his pay check (taxes...something complicated...) and we were shorted almost $400. That is a lot of money to us!! FOOD money!!

The feelings came immediately. Hopelessness. Anger. Sadness. Panic. The feeling of wanting to run away and hide. These feelings, associated with money, have been my constant companion. Me and money have a very unfriendly relationship. Money has never done anything for me. I could never trust money and it seemed to run away screaming whenever it got close.

I felt myself retracting into the space inside of me that is designated for money troubles, when, like a switch, I remembered JOY. I remembered all of the things I have been learning about myself, my internal beliefs and the promise I have made to myself to not be a victim anymore. I had made the realization a couple of weeks before that money was no longer going to be my ENEMY. It had no power. It was just money.

My loving Heavenly Father, in his infinite wisdom and love, was testing me. He was saying, "You said you wanted to change, here is your chance."

I was amazed at how easy it was to just shake it off. I told James, "Everything will work out." He gave me a surprised look, and I even had to go look in the mirror to make sure I was still ME.

Can I tell you what an empowering experience that was for me. I was no longer a victim to money. I could control how I reacted. James and I sat down, rearranged our money plan and continued on through the day, experiencing JOY in our children, our home and each other.

The Master Healer

James and I were asked to speak in church this last Sunday, and you will never believe what my topic was. Just Guess. That's right...JOY! I learned so much as I prepared that talk! It wasn't anything that I hadn't heard before, but it was as if it was new, because of the space I have created in my life for JOY. It wasn't just words on a paper. It was tangible. It was real.

I want to share with you the power that Jesus Christ, our Savior, has in our journey to remember JOY.

Here is an amazing quote from my new favorite author and energy therapist Carol Tuttle, "Christ suffered, so that we would not have to. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Christ took upon himself all the sins of mankind. He took upon himself all of the negative, heavy energy that had been and ever would be created by mankind. Christ's atonement has already healed us. It is our belief in struggle and our patterns of recreating upset and drama in our lives that keep us from maintaining this healed state.

The power of the atonement of Jesus Christ is real. The power of faith in His atonement is real. As we live by faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ, this faith provides us with the power and energy to heal ourselves."

Because Christ has already taken away the pain and suffering of each of us, we have the ability to literally REPLACE feelings of doubt, fear, anxiety, sadness, loneliness, regret, anger and worthlessness with feelings of HOPE, HAPPINESS and JOY! I didn't say ADD to those feelings, or momentarily disguise them, but REPLACE them.

We will all feel these negative emotions at different times in our life, but we don't have to suffer in them or dwell on them.

I want to share a very personal experience with you to help you understand what I mean. **Just to warn you, the details of the story I will relate are disturbing**

I recently heard about a baby who had 8 of his fingers chewed off by the family ferret. The parents claimed to not have heard the babies screams. This story sent me over the edge. I was experiencing severe anxiety, nightmares and terrors. I think the fact that I have a baby amplified those feelings. I found my self drowning in these feelings. I have a history of anxiety and was brought back to some very dark times in my life where these feelings where happening on a daily basis.

One night I was laying in bed and I broke down in tears because I could not get these images and thoughts from my head. Then, something miraculous happened. I imagined in my minds eye this little innocent baby experiencing an excruciating amount of pain. Then, I imagined that Christ entered this babies room, scooped up his little spirit and held him. He rocked the baby in His arms and even sang him a lullaby. The babies physical body was enduring the pain, but his spirit (the part of us that animates our body) was safely cradled in the Saviors arms. The spirit baby was even smiling as he looked up into Christ's eyes.

I was healed from these terrors in that moment. Christ had already suffered the pain that this baby endured. Besides relating that story once to my sister, I have not thought about it at all. That is how powerful the Atonement is!

Christ can heal. He can, He does, and He is waiting for you!

Today's Challenge- Do you have an emotion or event in your life that is leaving you weighted down with negative energy? Can you imagine a loving older brother, Jesus Christ, taking those feelings away? Identify one emotion or event and turn it over to The Lord. Visualize your own scene, as I did.

I want to hear about your experiences with this! Please leave a comment.

This quote comes from Carol Tuttle's book, Remembering Wholeness. This book is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G and will change your life.

Spilled Milk

I have noticed since I have been paying more attention to the space I am creating for JOY, my internal dialog and the language of JOY, that I am being pelted with things that challenge that. You've heard the saying, "Don't ask to be more patient because your patience will be tested." HELLO!!

My children are my greatest teachers. They teach me so much everyday, and sometimes that growing and learning process is not always comfortable.

My sweet, darling Malia is my greatest teacher right now. Malia is 3. Malia is curious, mischievous, and beginning to assert her independence...in a big way. I am so glad that she is on this path of finding who she is, what she likes and the things she can do "all by herself". I really am. But, this process is not always fun. Take, for instance, yesterday...

Malia tried to pour her self a glass of milk and dumped half a carton of milk out onto the floor, then used EVERY clean dish cloth that I had just folded and put away to clean it up. Then while I was cleaning the rest up, she decided to try my new earrings on. I don't exactly know how it happened, but she broke those. Then, she was unusually grumpy and feisty and decided she didn't want to stay in bed and got out at least 20 times.

Now, before, this would have just been a really bad day to me. I would have gone to bed feeling tired, angry and sorry for myself. I would have felt a lot of guilt and helplessness. But since I have been on this personal journey I was able to come to these conclusions.

#1- The reason the milk was spilt was because she had asked me 3 times to help her and all 3 times I had told her "just a minute" (you never use that line with your kids, do you?) What would you have done if you were her? You would have poured your own milk!

#2- It is know at my house that when you make a mess, you are in charge of cleaning it up. Malia knows this and that is exactly what she did. She cleaned up her mess. To her, using all the towels was the fastest way.

#3- She is as girly as they come. She was already wearing a pink princess dress, so why not put on Mom's new shinny earrings to complete the look?

#4- I would have been grumpy too if I had been punished and yelled at for trying to grow up. I would have wanted some affirmation and attention from my Mom, who I wasn't sure still liked me. Wouldn't you?

I was amazed at how different this day ended. Was it still exhausting to run around and clean up after a 3 year old? Of course, but that bad day happened BECAUSE of me, not TO me. I own that, and I learned from that. I went to bed feeling JOY for such a sweet spirit to grace my presence. How lucky am I to have such a loving Father in Heaven who trusts me enough to send me Malia.

What are the people in your life trying to help you learn about JOY? Each person in your life serves a purpose.

This weeks challenge- Pick ONE person in your life, child, spouse, co-worker, sibling, parent, neighbor, ANYONE who you seem to be at odds with. Someone who seems to be rubbing you the wrong way, pushing your buttons, or doing all the wrong things. Ask yourself what that person is trying to teach you about yourself and your life.

Here's a quick example (hope you don't mind me sharing Tara!) My older sister shared an experience with me about a girl that she use to know. This girl, we'll call her Sue, really got under Tara's skin. She just didn't mesh with Sue and had a really hard time with her. One day, one of Tara's friends casually mentioned how similar Sue and Tara were. It was eye opening for Tara. Because she is a very wise woman, she was able to step back and see that this girl was placed in her path to teach her something. She realized that they were similar and she was able to see some of the ways she was portraying herself to others and do some tweaking.

Are you being a victim? Are you letting people or experiences create your emotions? Or are you being a creator of your own life, and owning the role you play?

I have such a strong desire to learn the things I am suppose to learn here, in this earthly experience. I am so glad to have people in my life who teach me, help me grow and make me want to be better.

The Language of JOY

How did you do with last weeks challenge? Did you write down a new internal dialog and practice it? Let me know what worked for you. (If this is your first visit check out the link WEEKLY CHALLENGES to the left.)

Now, the language of JOY...

This concept is so new to me, BUT SO EXCITING!!

JOY is a very high moving energy. Close your eyes and think about a time in your life where you have been very joyful. Remember the energy that was almost bursting from you. The feeling of JOY is like a bouncy ball. We have all seen what happens when a child tosses a bouncy ball. The ball goes everywhere! It can not be contained!

I can think of at least 6 times in my life where I felt only JOY. #1 was my wedding day. Only JOY. The other 5 were, you guessed it, the births of my 5 miracle babies. In those little delivery rooms, where first breaths were taken and angelic spirits arrived, there was only JOY.

We know how JOY feels.

Let's compare that to anger, tension or fear. Have you ever walked into a room where people have been fighting and you can literally FEEL the tension? The term that comes to mind is "you could cut the tension with a knife." Because anger is an energy, just like JOY, it is palpable and easily felt.

JOY is an energy that I want to share with the people around me!!! What about you? I don't want anger and sadness trailing me. And I certainly don't want my family, who have to live with me, left with tension or anger in the air, plugging up their ability to feel JOY.

To speak the language of JOY is not easy. Misery is all around us. It seems like, in our society, we are always trying to one-up someones story of misery. What if we started talking about JOY? If we started to change the conversations at the water cooler, so to speak.

This weeks challenge- Focus on the language of JOY. Start telling people the things that are going right for you. The feelings of JOY you experienced that day. Start learning the language of JOY. To most of us, it will seem like a foreign language, but practice makes perfect, right? You may also want to right a reminder to your self about this. Put it somewhere you can see it, and start noticing the space you create for JOY.

Magnify the JOY

Have you ever noticed that after you buy a new car you see that same kind of car everywhere you go. Or when you are pregnant, all of a sudden, there are pregnant woman everywhere! Those cars and pregnant ladies didn't just appear, they were always there, our perspective just changed. It was magnified. Our lives are like that too. What we choose to focus on is magnified.

Now, is there room and times in our life for sadness and pain? OF COURSE. There is opposition in all things. We would not have the ability to experience JOY if we didn't know what sadness felt like. My little sister, Tami, said it best one Halloween night when she 5 years old, "All the times that I am well make me happ now that I am sick!"

Sadness is a part of our human experience. There are appropriate times for it. It is when we have more sad days than JOY filled days that we know we need to take a step back and examine our lives.

One of my favorite things that Carol Tuttle teaches is that we are CREATORS of our own lives. We are not victims. Think of when you have had a really bad day. What was your internal dialog? Could it have been, "Why is this happening to me?" or "What did I do to deserve this bad day?" Now, just think about this for a minute... what if the bad day was not happening TO you, but BECAUSE of you? That is a tough pill to swallow, isn't it. But could it be true?

We are creators of our own lives. What would happen if we stopped being victims? How would your life change if you stopped letting things happening TO you? Our loving Father in Heaven loves us and trusts us enough to pilot our own lives.

When I realize that I am having a bad day I do these 3 simple things,

#1-I stop. Usually bad days come with a lot of responsibility. Too much on my plate. So I literally stop moving.

#2- I acknowledge that I am creating this bad day. By the way I am talking, thinking or acting. I have to start blaming the right person for my day. I am not a victim. I am a creator.

#3- I pray! I pray for strength, patience and understanding. Then, I give my bad day to my Heavenly Father. I close my eyes, package my bad day in a little pink box (pink is my favorite color right now) and I hand it over. I give it up to my Savior.

Joy needs space. It won't force its way in. Create a space for joy. Realize that bad days will come, experience those feelings. So many of us try to stifle pain, or uncomfortable feelings. FEEL those feelings and them put them in a box and allow the joy back in. Let's stop magnifying the negative things that are in our lives.

I Think, Therefore I am

(If you haven't read my first post, please scroll down and read that first.)

It was about four years ago that I began to understand that my internal dialog was keeping me mentally sick. Keeping me locked in a world of fear, anxiety and darkness.

Now, that was tough, let me tell you, to realize that I was the cause of this torture that I had been enduring for so long.

I almost dismissed this and found myself thinking it was too simple. How could just changing my thought process heal me, and release me from this tumultuous prison I had been stuck in?

With the help of a handful of people in my life and most recently an amazing woman, named Carol Tuttle, I have come to realize that what we tell ourselves, is who we are.

Take for instance;

"I am fat." Yup, if you are telling your self this, you are going to eat more, find more excuses NOT to exercise and it will be easier to reach for those brownies cause you are fat, and why even try.

"I can't control my money." or "I am poor." Well, if you can't control your money, and as soon as that money comes into the bank you already have it spent, or you splurge on things you don't need or can't afford because you don't have control of your money, and why even try.

These are just a couple of examples, but they are so commonly used in our internal dialog.

What we tell ourselves, is who we are.

How does this fit in with tapping into that endless pool of joy that our loving Father in Heaven has created for us??

Well, here is an example of what I have been switching in my internal dialog and I will show you how I have created a SPACE for joy.

Instead of saying to myself over and over "I am fat" I have replaced it with this dialog, "I am working on being healthier. I have stored up some extra weight in the process of bringing 5 beautiful human beings into this world and I am now giving myself permission to be healthy and lean."

I am finding joy in the processes or remembering how healthy feels. I am letting joy in and creating an actual space for it in my life. When we bog ourselves down with degrading dialog we plug up space for joy to flow.

Remember, JOY IS EVERYWHERE, just like those dust particles illuminated by the sun ray.

A Challenge for this week- Write down one of your internal dialogs that is taking up space that can other wise be used for joy. After you have written it down on paper, tear it up, flush it down the toilet or burn it. Get rid of it, destroy it. THEN, write down a replacement dialog and put that somewhere you can see it daily. Practice it, say it out loud. Then, be aware of the space you create for joy.

Joy is All Around Us

Finding Joy.

Is joy something that we have to search for? Are we on a life-long journey to find the joy that only a select few seem to have discovered?

Have you ever asked your self, "Why can't I be happy?"

When we are having a bad day does that mean we lost our joy somehow? Did it jump ship and bury itself under a rug until we decide to let it back on board?

What if joy is not something we find, but something that we tap into.

Joy is all around us. It is a light, a high moving energy that is constantly at out heels. It is the air we breath.

We can not loose joy, for it does not come and go. It does not turn off and on like the switch of a light. It is constant and immovable.

One day, I noticed my sweet Malia was grabbing at something in the air. I watched closer and saw that she was standing at a spot in the living room where a beam of light was coming in through the sliding glass door. The light had illuminated all of the dust particles that were floating around, normally unseen, in the air. These dust particles where invisible without the brilliant morning light reflecting off of them. Malia looked at me in frustration and said, "Mommy, I can't catch the dust!"

Imagine that that is our joy, floating in the air all around us. We can't see it, unless we know the right spot to stand at the right time of day.

Now, look at this perfect, sleeping child.

It is hard not to tap into joy when gazing upon the most perfect creation God has made.

What if I told you that for years, although I looked at motherhood as the single-most greatest privilege of my life, when I looked upon my children I was filled to the brim with fear; fear of loss, of getting it wrong, or of tragedy. I ignored the joy that was all around me, and choose instead to tap into fear. For fear is just as potent.

"...and men are, that they might have joy" 2 Nephi 2:25

I believe with all of my heart that we were put on this earth to experience JOY. For the first time in a long time, in fact, maybe ever, I am understanding my capacity to experience joy. The word experience is defined as; a particular instance of personally encountering something that is perceived, understood and remembered.

Please join me on a journey to remember that joy is all around us. When we are tapped into joy we can breathe easier, we accomplish more, we see things differently. We laugh more, smile and cuddle more. We yell less, do less whining and complaining. Joy heals broken hearts, fills voids and nourishes souls.