A 2 Year Old's Rant

I came across this little nugget of wisdom the other day and it really spoke to me.

As usual, as soon as new way of thinking or seeing things comes into my life I am presented with an opportunity to learn that new principle. I don't know if I will ever get use to how uncomfortable it is to learn new things, because they usually come in forms of uncomfortable situations...go figure.

"Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be." -Wayne W. Dyer

I woke up Monday  (Labor Day) with really high expectations for that day (which was my first mistake). We were going to all work together as a family to get the house and back yard sparkly clean, then have a really yummy, nutritious lunch and spend the rest of the rainy, overcast day playing games and watching movies together.

Well, needless to say, everyone else was in "holiday" mode. As in, sit-and-do-nothing. Um, excuse me? I had a plan!!!

No one else thought it was a great idea to get the house clean. They wised up to my threats and did help, but their idea of sparkly clean was a bit different than mine. They didn't like the idea of games either, they thought playing with friends sounded funner. The nerve!

Without going into too many embarrassing details, I was grumpy. Everyone and everything was not living up to my high expectations and it was so annoying! The harder I worked to clean, the messier it seemed to get. I was kind of acting like a 2 year old that wasn't getting her way and so, around noon, I decided to put myself in time-out before I injured someone.

I went up to my room (I may have even slammed my door...I don't quite remember...) and lay on my bed. I wasn't there long before the above quote popped into my head. I hate when that happens, cause sometimes I just want to be a 2 year old. I had a fleeting vision of punching Wayne W. Dyer (whoever the heck he is) in the nose.

But because when I originally read it, it spoke so deeply to my heart, it was hard to deny the truthfulness of it now.

One of the most miraculous blessings that have come into my life since I have been able to heal from my depression and chronic pessimism is the ability to realize, fairly quickly, when I am being taught, stretched and inspired. I still wallow, but I don't wallow for long. That took a lot of practice, and I get better with each uncomfortable experience.

I got off my bed and went to the window where I had a perfect view of my 3 middle kids playing together...not fighting, but playing, cooperating and laughing together. I walked out of my room to see my smiling 12 year old who was in a really great mood and wanted to show me a funny picture on her phone. I then went downstairs to see my husband playing with my 3 year old. My 3 year old was laughing and soaking up his daddy time.

The day ended with my hot husband taking me on a date to a movie and dinner, which we hadn't done in a loooong time.

All of these things I would have missed if I had continued on my rant. I am really glad I didn't miss them.

Peace NEVER just happens...we have to be ever mindful and ever diligent at creating space in our lives for it.

The Back Burner and Old Comfy Tennis Shoes

I have decided it was time to post something! I have not forgotten about my beloved Remembering Joy blog, it has just been moved to the back burner these last couple of months.Speaking of back burner, I put 14 cups of water on the back burner this afternoon to make Ramen noodles for my kids and their 5 friends. I busied myself washing dishes, wiping up spilled milk, sun-screening 10 little backs to get ready to swim, laundry, etc. It took me about 45 minutes to realize that although the burner was on High, it was not boiling yet. I decided to just put the 7 packages of not-in-the-least-bit-nutritious Ramen noodles in the water, because it had to be hot enough! 

After a bit I thought to myself, "Why didn't I take the time to move the pot of water to another burner, or separate the water into 2 different pans?"

Well, this got me thinking about my own life. I have been experiencing some old patterns of depression and anxiety lately. It has taken me while to even notice, as I have occupied myself with other things in life.

These subtle feelings of loneliness, hopelessness and constant frustration are like old, comfy tennis shoes.  But, these old, comfy tennis shoes were really weighing me down. They were comfortable in a familiar way, but the only thing they added to my life was darkness. 

That darkness was depleting my JOY. 

Now, I really hope I am not the only one who takes a while to realize that I am not happy and that I need to make some changes. Sometimes I have to live in my misery for a while before I remember that it is JOY I am striving for. It is JOY I choose.  But, I am getting better at it, and I am trying to be patient with myself. 

Well, as they say, knowing IS half the battle, so now that I have taken a moment to assess why my pot of water is not coming to a boil, I am deciding to move it to a different burner.

I encourage you to stop for a moment, and look at your pot of water.  Ask yourself why the water is taking so long to boil. What do you need to do to help get it going? What changes need to be made? Is there a burner that heats faster? Should you just bag the Ramen noodles all together and make Turkey wraps? 

I not only choose JOY now, but I choose faith and hope. Faith that a loving Heavenly Father knows me and loves me. I now cling to the hope that JOY is something I can experience on a daily basis. Hope that tomorrow will come and bring with it new life, opportunities and more water to boil!

So...I am tossing out my old pair of tennis shoes! They really are not that comfortable. Feel free to add yours to the heap!

If there is one thing I have learned over this past year, it is that there is JOY everywhere, and in everything.

Sometimes that JOY is not as obvious.

My sweet Grandpa passed away tonight. He was diagnosed with Lewy Body Disease 2 years ago. He had a hard battle, but was able to slip quietly from this life to the next with his loving wife, 5 out of his 6 daughters, their husbands, my older sister and myself at the side of his bed.

As I saw him take his last breath I was not prepared for the emotions that came.

Death is a part of life. A loving Father in Heaven has prepared a perfect plan for us. Just as bringing a new life into this world is a part of this plan, so is dying.

I do not understand it all, and won't even begin to try. But what I do know is that I will see him again. I know that he is no longer in pain. I know he is rejoicing with his loved ones.

Amidst my deep sadness tonight I am fighting to see where JOY plays into this part of life.

The Golden Ticket

*This entry was inspired by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf's most recent talk from the General Relief Society Meeting. If you haven't seen it yet, well, what are you waiting for?

Remember in the book/movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when Willey Wonka announces that he has enclosed in 5 choice bars of chocolate a golden ticket?  The finders of these golden tickets will get to come to Willey's exclusive factory for a tour and also win a life time supply of chocolate.

We all know what happens. The whole world begins to search for the golden tickets. Every one is in pursuit of these tickets. But along the way, in anticipation for the golden ticket, the JOY and pleasure that once was found in a chocolate bar begins to loose it's appeal. The chocolate bar may have even been tossed to the side, uneaten, if it did not contain the coveted golden ticket.

How many of us are waiting for our golden ticket? The perfect marriage, a home that is clean and stays clean, a life free of stress or worry, enough money...the list goes on and on. We can become so narrow minded and obsessed with these golden tickets that our chocolate bars are literally going to waste. 

I ate a piece of fudge before writing this (curse you James for making such succulent fudge!!!) The chocolate melted as soon as it touched my tongue. Chocolate is so warm and friendly because it does this...it melts and spreads to every taste bud, every crevasse of your mouth. It slides down your throat and lands softly in your stomach. It pats you on the back on it's way down and wraps you in comfort. (You are going to the pantry right now for some chocolate, aren't you?)

Okay people!!! What are you waiting for? Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the last golden ticket was just found! You ain't getting one!

ENJOY the chocolate and STOP WAITING FOR YOUR GOLDEN TICKET!!!!

Let the JOY that is all around you seep into every crevasse. Open your heart and mind to the JOY that can penetrate every cell in your body. JOY does not force itself in, but when you create space and opportunity, it melts into every part of you.

Imagine standing before your creator on judgment day and saying, "I just couldn't enjoy the sunset tonight because my favorite show was on and I just couldn't miss it! And I couldn't enjoy my kids today because they were driving me CRAZY and I was waiting for them to sit still and stop fighting. And my husband, well, when he can finally read my mind and for once know what I want and do exactly what I need him to do, then I can enjoy and serve him. Sorry, I just couldn't savor the smell of those autumn leaves cause my laundry was piling up. And forget about after dinner when my daughter was pulling on my pant leg to read her a story! I couldn't sit down and read to her because the dishes were piling up. So sorry...I will do those things tomorrow when life is calmer."

In pursuit of our golden ticket, are we forgetting to be happy NOW? We must be constantly and prayerfully striving for something better, but we can not forget to find JOY in the journey...or chocolate bar.

So let's start enjoying those chocolate bars again, in all their flavors.

Please share with me your golden tickets, and how you are going to savor your chocolate bars more!!! I LOVE feedback.

Taking the bad with the GOOD

A JOYful life is not void of negative emotions.

Feelings of regret, anger, sadness, guilt or loneliness will always be felt. A JOYful life is had by being able to feel these emotions, and not stuff them down. Being able to take ownership for why you feel this way, FEEL it, then do with it what needs to be done so that you can move forward with JOY.

I may have said this before, but our emotions are our God-given signal that we need to pay attention to what is happening around us. Take for instance regret. Regret is when we felt a prompting to do something and we chose not to. It is an automatic response to help us learn, so that the next time we are prompted, we will listen. Regret is not meant to paralyze us or make us feel bad about ourselves.

Is it possible to take what we have labeled as "negative" emotions and think of them as positive ones??

I have learned that when I respond appropriately to an emotion, even it doesn't feel good at the time, I see my life shift tremendously. I find myself achieving goals and becoming closer to the person that I want to be.

I will take those uncomfortable feelings ANY DAY, because it means that I am alive! It means that I get to make changes and be a better person! I now know that JOY is everywhere and in everything.

Just like a seemingly "negative" emotions drives us forward to change, JOY drives us to soak in the good, be better and appreciate life in all it's glory.

A Gentle, Lovely Reminder

You MUST go and hear this couples story. Stephanie and Christian Nielson, parents of 4, were in a near fatal airplane accident in 2008. Stephanie was burned on over 80% of her body, and Christian, over 40%. Their spirit and story is inspiring and is a gentle, lovely reminder of what is important in this life.

Watch this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHDvxPjsm8E&feature=player_embedded

Then Visit this blog

http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/

A String Around My Finger

We have been told that we should follow our head and leave our feelings out of decision making because feelings are misleading.

I beg to differ. Our feelings or emotions are our God-given, built in devise to keep us on track. Emotions keep us in tune with how we are living and in what direction we are going.

Now, if we get really angry and say or do things in that anger, that is different. I am talking about how we feel on a day-to-day basis, when we are washing the dishes, surfing the Internet, or interacting with our family.

Remember that cute little cricket, Jimminy, from Pinocchio?? "Always let your conscious be your guide!" We all have him in our pocket or on our shoulder with his cute little top hat and cane.

This is my new challenge to you, I am trying this myself and I have noticed that it is working:

Tie a string around your finger (other alternatives are a rubber band around your wrist or some other type of bracelet or ring). Every time you see this string, "check-in" to how you are feeling.

Ask your self, "How am I feeling? What am I thinking about? What am I thinking to myself, about myself, or about others? How am I speaking to others? Where are my thoughts?"

The next part is simple, IF your emotions are positive, SMILE and keep going. If they are negative, think of a phrase you can say to "flip it". For example: If I checked in and I was feeling anxious about something (which happens a lot for me) I would say out loud, with that anxiety in mind, "But what if that doesn't happen, then what?" Immediately my mind leaves that negative thought and I am thinking of the positive or the good things that will happen instead.

If I found I was thinking something negative about someone, I would say, "But this person is so great because_______."

It works. It's easy. You will be amazed at what goes on inside of your head! I know I was. I did not even realize how damaging some of my thoughts, and in consequence my emotions were and how they were leading me down paths I wasn't even aware of.

By becoming more aware of your emotions and where they are leading you, you can take control and shape your future in an amazing way.

Good Luck!!